2008 In Review...

I know that you have probably been keeping up with my blog since I started and as time has gone by. But in the tradition of doing a yearly review of sorts, I decided to post that on my blog as well. We'll start with the bottom and go up from there.

JARED

Jared is 2 1/2 years old and never lets us forget that. His most current nickname is HLT, which stands for 'Holy Living Terror.' To say that we do the terrible twos would be an understatement. If it were not for how cute he was, he would be in trouble a lot more often. At the beginning of the year he had not been able to pass a hearing test since he was born, so he had his first set of tubes in Feb. We started speech therapy shortly there after and have seen great improvement in his speech since then. He has attended the Toddler Lab upon campus and has LOVED that!!! We found his tubes occluded recently and did a second set of tubes at the first of Dec. Nothing keeps him down, he keeps us on our toes and we really love him so much!!!

TAYLOR

Taylor is now 5 1/2 and started kindergarten in the fall. She loves school. Talking is probably her most favorite hobby and school is great to brush up on that. She loves to dance and sing and wants to preform any chance she gets. Her questions about everything and her constant desire to know more amaze me. She picks up on so much, so quickly. She loves being a sister, but she often tells me that I "should have had me first so I could tell Dylan what to do." She is growing up way too fast and I hope that I'm doing right by her. I love my little princess. (Even when she does put soap in my contact case to wash my contacts for me....YIKES!!!)

DYLAN

Dylan just turned 7 on the 22nd. He was so cute about it. He knows that next time he has a birthday he will be 8, and then he shouts HURAAY! I said, what's so great about turning 8. He then talked about a blessing with the water and he can go swimming. I think he gets the basic idea. He is in 1st grade and is integrated with his class. His MRI in Aug. came back clear and his 24 hour EEG in Oct. came back inconclusive. He is still doing speech therapy multiple times a week and as of late have seen better behavior than what we've seen in a while. We just wish we could figure out the triggers that determine good vs. tough behavior. We hope that he learns what he needs to learn, but in turn, I don't think I can teach him even a part of what he teaches me. Dylan, I love you!!!

MELISSA

I am treading water the best I can as any mom is and I just hope I'm doing what I need to for my family....I hope it is all enough. As I type this, it seems I don't do very much. I'm still working 2 nights a week as a tech on the Labor and Delivery floor. I really enjoy my job but it makes for tough days when I'm incoherent. I'm a taxi driver for my kids, their therapies, keeping up with the dishes, laundry, appointments just like all of you. I've gone back to school to work on pre-requisites for getting a nursing degree. It will take a while.

JEFF

Jeff started the year at Erickson Pontiac GMC as a part of the sales team. Times became quite difficult as gas prices sky-rocketed during the summer. So it was no huge surprise when he was laid off in October. He has been looking since then with nothing promising yet. Its been nice to hear of how crazy it is to keep up with the kids, their therapies, their appointments, their homework, keep up the house and keep everything on a fairly even keel. It almost sounds like appreciation.

We have no idea what 2009 holds in store for us, but we hope that it will bring us, and we pray that it will bring you meaningful times, a sense of success and accomplishment, and a knowledge of what is truly important and what that means individually, and more opportunities to acknowledge those around us who are so important.

May you NOT be in the Doghouse

The passing of someone special...

On Saturday December 6, Jeff's grandmother, Mildred Wright Davis Hellstrom Wall passed away.

So we headed south to Utah on Wed. the 10th. Jeff's sister Teri works at a nearby hotel and got us a fantastic rate (THANKS A TON TERI!!!) So between that and our much improved gas prices we were able to go without much problem. We went to the viewing Wed. night and I brought the kids back to the hotel early, along with their cousin Caleb to go swimming. Many thanks to Caleb. He was a life saver for me and Dylan became attached with him quite quickly.

Dylan and Caleb in a silly moment

The funeral was Thursday morning and it was really a fantastic tribute to someone who has done so much for her family. Jeff and I were the recipients of much from her especially when we first got married. She was SO generous and we know that she taught her children to be the same way!!!

Her Legacy

Stacy, Millie (Jeff's Mom), Brent, & Dorthy

Jeff said the closing prayer (and did a great job considering the closing song was a tear-jerker) and was a pall-bearer.

Jeff and his dad, Dwayne

Jeff and his sister, Staci

Taylor with Aunt Staci

Jeff and his Aunt Dorthy

After the luncheon and much persuasion, We went to see the lights on Temple Square on our way home Thursday evening. For me there is just nothing like it. Temple Square by itself is wonderful but with tens of thousands of lights, its even more special.

Jared, trying to understand what we were doing in the cold.

WOW... I just LOVE it!!!

I have the best co-workers !!!

I've worked for the last two night and they have been truly helacious nights. A good average for a night is 2-3 deliveries. Well Tues. night we had 5 and last night we had 7. We completely filled up and had to post phone the C-Section we were supposed to do this morning. Our post-partum unit holds 12 patients, our labor unit can hold 9 patients and for the first time in history (since we got our post-partum unit in April 2007) we had to move some our post-partum mom's to the Med/Surg floor. To say that it was crazy would be grossly understated!!! But I remember at one point asking my co-workers "What's the difference between tonight and Hell?" I think their response was that there was no difference but I had to differ. I explained that the difference was the people that were working together. We could have a team with weaker, less willing to participate people.....THAT would have been Hell.

I have fantastic co-workers!!!

THANKSGIVING 2008

We went up Thanksgiving Day to my uncles cabin in Island Park.

We really had a great time.

Kevin (my brother)and Alyssa, able to come from Fresno, duke it out.

Grandma (My mom) and Jared eager to say 'CHEEZ'
Jeff ate too much!!

Brandon, Matt, & Blake (my brothers) going hunting.

Jared climbing the stairs!

Taylor at air hockey.

Dylan trying to beat Taylor...

Dylan and Taylor hot-tubbing. They loved it .

History Today...

It was a year ago today that we moved into our home. We've been here one year. In some ways it doesn't seem like we've done enough with in the last year. But we have been thankful to do what we have done.

I think it was about 14 years ago today I was in a car accident, a truly defining incident in my life. In high school I worked at Wendy's and would not get home till very late, (or early depending how you look at it.) I called my mom to tell her that I was on my way home, just like every other time I left work. Well, on my way home I hit a patch of black ice and went off the road, catching a bridge over a ditch just right. It flipped the car upside down and somehow slid underneath the bridge/road. You could not see the car from the road. We estimated with time that I must have been unconscious for some time. I remember waking up (having worn my seat belt) hanging upside down, the radio was still playing and I could smell gasoline. I somehow crawled out of the passenger side doors window, climbed up out of the ditch and started to walk home. I had a concussion, scrapes and some beautiful bruises. This accident was not defining by itself, but it coupled with an accident a month later was un-nerving. A month later only a mile from my accident was a accident in which 5 kids were killed. I knew most all of them. Between a classmate at school and co-workers at Wendy's, there was too much of a connection for me. I attended 5 viewings and 3 funerals in 5 days. No one should ever have to do that.
Its really interesting to remember personal history.

Quick Update

I just had a holter monitor put on 3 hours ago. It's supposed to be a 48 hour test. I don't know if I can do it. It is driving me absolutely NUTS!!!!!

Dylan's Psych Eval. is tomorrow afternoon. I almost cannot wait!!!

My brother Kevin and his wife, Alyssa are flying in on Wednesday for Thanksgiving. I really cannot wait!!!

I don't have to work till Friday. HALLELUJAH!!!

Not uplifting, but rather a confession...

To those of you who know me, know this already. To the rest of you, I'm going to make you loose respect for me...instantly. Ready!?!

I'm not a nurse, not a BSRN, not a RN, not a LPN. I have my CNA. I am a nurse extender, health unit coordinator. (Most recently at work, I consider myself 'pond scum'.) When people ask what I do, I say something that I hope holds some regard without mis-leading people. I tell them I'm a tech on Labor and Delivery. I work 99% of the time on Labor and 1% of the time on Post-Partum. As my husband would say, I'm the paper pusher, which pretty much sums it up. I do charts and transcribe orders. I bill patients and stock rooms. I am not to leave my desk (a rule I break as much as I can) and of course the phone is my BFF. I am a glorified secretary. Even our housekeeper has told me (on MULTIPLE occasions) that she would have to take a pay cut to have my job. Thus....pond scum.
I really love patient care. I so appreciate when a nurse will let me help with the routine of a newborn assessment. I love to help clean off the new comer or take a temp. I know you'll think I'm crazy, but sometimes I even enjoy helping a mom push, counting to 10. Don't need a degree for that one.
I don't know what it is that got me dreaming or even thinking that I could become a nurse, but a few months ago I enrolled in an Anatomy & Physiology course thru continuing education. Its meant to be a 2 semester class, but I'm not sure I'll take the second half. Other than financial expenses, I don't want to subject myself to further self-humiliation. I (with about 2-3 weeks to go) have a grade that NO ONE in any nursing program would look at. And thus, quickly wraps up the hope of becoming anything more than pond scum. Don't get me wrong. I've quite enjoyed that class, and I'd like to think that I have learned something despite what my scores say. Jeff has not been too helpful. He just tells me that 'I must not want it bad enough.' And perhaps he's right. But, I've wanted to be a nurse longer than what I can remember. (If your spouse has a goal and take steps toward it, I hope you NEVER tell them that they must not want it bad enough.....)
And now I need to apologize. I'm truly and sincerely sorry, if I have ever lied to or led you to believe that I was ever more than what I am, because I'm not. Please understand that there has always seemed to be a sense of respect that came, when people thought I was a nurse. It's like they instantly trust you or hold you in higher esteem because you would have the RN behind your name. You may think that this is not so... but it is. I don't know how many times, I'll walk into a patients room to silence an alarm or help in some way, and they want to start asking medically based questions. I'll stop them and explain that I'm not a nurse. Their face will change. And even though I am a stranger to them, I have just disappointed them, lost any previous respect in a heartbeat.
There....how do you like me now !?!

Now Jared, Poor Dude!!!

Jared was diagnosed yesterday with brochitis. (If you're wondering why we haven't invited you over lately, we didn't want to get your kids sick!!) We spent an hour at the doctors, an hour at Valley Medical Shoppe getting a nebulizer, and an hour at Wal-Mart waiting for the Albuterol, Pulmicort, Prednisone, and some cough syrup with codiene. (Yeah for Jared!!!)

Well, this morning he comes into our room just after 4AM, wheezing and working hard to breathe. I did a breathing treatment and it didn't really do anything so we loaded up and went to the ER. Poor kid...got a racine treatment, and some Pediasone. He was so irritable, he fought me til he went to sleep. We got home just after 7, just in time to put Dylan and Taylor on the school bus. Then we ALL went back to bed till 11AM. Yeah for sleep!!!! Not so good for anything that I wanted to get done today. Sorry ya'll, some day soon, I really will try to post something positive!!! Thnx.

I'll try to make this quick...

Who knows what can be unleashed when I come to post on my blog...

Last Thursday, Jeff and I had tickets to go see the Bar J Wranglers, a popular local attraction just outside Jackson, WY. They were coming to Rigby and never having seen them and always wanting to, I got us tickets. Well Thursday came and I was all set, I had the babysitters lined up and everything was ready to go, except Dylan that is.

I took Dylan to speech like we do every Thursday except this was waayy different. We walked in and I saw a side of Dylan I had NEVER seen before. He began yelling and screaming hysterically, he folded his pouty arms and rolled up into the fetal position. Matt, his speech therapist that Dylan usually loves and adores, came out to see what was wrong. Matt told Dylan that if he wanted to Dylan could knock on the door and they could start speech whenever Dylan was ready. Well, Dylan didn't move, fingers in ears, fetal position, did not move. Until a moment later, Dylan leaped out of the chair, went to Matt's door, threw the door open, and SCREAMED at Matt. (I was deaf for a few minutes after that.) Well....knowing that speech was really not going to happen, I somehow got Dylan back out to the van and we rolled away. I knew that I could not leave Dylan with a babysitter, no matter how good they were. I called Jeff and told him to find someone else to go with, called the sitters and cancelled with them.

I've had a hunch for awhile that he might have autism, what I've seen in the last two weeks really has me questioning it. So he has an appointment for an evaluation on November 25th, which really CANNOT come soon enough. It seems like everyday we have reports from school of him spitting or scratching someone or some other tough behavior. Dylan is really an affectionate kid who just seems to be in between a rock and a hard spot right now. My heart aches for my little boy and I don't feel like I'm doing enough for him.

He pediatric neurologist called me yesterday with his EEG results. (Tell me if you understand this...) Dylan didn't have any seizures while we were there, but has the potential to have seizures. (WHAT!?!) He can't put Dylan on any meds because nothing is definitive, but he might be seizing when we don't know it. WOW, that was worth it. And for some reason, we are taking a 'wait and see' approach. Whatever.....

We also learned yesterday that Jared will need another set of tubes in his ears because his right one is not working and is fairly deaf on the right side. His adenoids will also be taken out in case they are what is causing blockage.

I guess that about sums it up for us.....

Photo update

This is Dylan during his 23 hour EEG. He is talking on the phone to Taylor. The part I remember best is when he said "I wuv and miss you Taylor!!" What a good brother.....

This is the computer he was hooked up to with the camera on top to watch him and how he looked as it correlated to his brain waves. As of today, no results yet.

Dylan for Halloween was Woody from Toy Story with his horse Bullseye. Second year in a row but if he doesn't care, why should I!?!

Taylor was Supergirl. Thank you to the Beagleys for letting us borrow this (Many Many Thank Yous!!!) She loved it and was so cute!!

Jared was a zebra. Its a heavy jacket with the zebra hood. I think all of the kids have used this at one time or another for Halloween.

Catching the first door, Grandma & Grandpa's door!!!

Tagged

This is from a tag from Melody. This tag has you post the 6th picture in your 6th folder.

This is just from a few months ago. None of my kids liked pacifiers. Jared finally decided to try one out.

I now tag:

1.Stacey

2.Amber

3.Amanda

4.Tiffany

5.Adele

6.Lexi

There's got to be a rainbow somewhere.....

For the last couple of days, I've told myself to remember stuff so that I could blog it. Tonight I don't really want to journal it but feel like I should.
MONDAY the 20th
As a whole really not a bad day. I got some stuff done, and went to class to memorize muscles. Yeah!! I came home to news about Jeff and his job. Not very good news.
TUESDAY the 21st
Went to Dylans IEP (Individual Education Plan) at his school. I LOATHE IEP meetings. They always seem so negative to me. 'Here is what your son is doing wrong. Here is how far behind he is. His behaviors are getting to be out of control. We don't know what else we can do to help him.' Why would anyone look forward to that. I'm a little frustrated with the school because I can't get a straight answer. If I wanted to know if they think his aides are good, of course they are going to tell me its all good. They are not going to want to say that they hired bad people for Dylan. Also, his classroom teacher admitted to me that she still hasn't read his IEP. I mean its almost November. What the rush!?!AUGH!!!!!
Then I get to go to work. Not a bad night.....
WEDNESDAY the 22nd
Take a quick nap then off and running. Skills day at noon to experience 2 hours of drudgery and lecture. 'You're not doing this right. Don't forget to do this and order this. Here are your statistics with this and this, not good enough. Do more, do better, work faster.....' Why would anyone look forward to that, especially after working the night before. Run home, try to get in one more nap before leaving for class at 5 PM. After class, go to work. Work Wed. night....not so much fun. We delivered three babes within 10 minutes, admitted an induction and had 2 outpatients. One of which was 26 wks. and 4 cm. So we shipped her. (THANK GOODNESS!!!) But during the course of 4 hours, I had the most intense adrenaline run I think I've ever had. Because, when it was all done, my brain was acting like I had taken 3 Lortab, when I hadn't taken anything.
THURSDAY the 23rd
Take a quick nap then off and running. Jared had physical therapy at 11AM then I had to go back to work to pick up somethings I had forgotten. Went up to campus to take care of some stuff, then a quick trip into Wal-Mart to pick up some necessities. We were home by about 2PM. Another quick nap before getting up to continue to pursuit of studying for an exam and packing to go to SLC. Pizza Hut was my salvation for dinner. Between left over pizza and all the cold cereal I got at Wal-Mart, I knew that my little people could survive while I was gone.

FRIDAY the 24th
(This is where I know you are going to get jealous!!!)After getting ready, serving breakfast and getting Taylor on the bus, I went up to campus to take my exam, and I spent almost an hour and a half on it. I felt like I had done really well but my score showed otherwise. (Oh well.) I ran home and got Dylan and loaded up and left. We stopped by my mom's to wish her a Happy Birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!)then got on the road to Salt Lake City. We (I) sped a lot to make it to Primary Children's Medical Center by our appointed time of 2:30PM.(We were only 10 minutes late.) We went to Clinic B (The Neurology Clinic) and spent the next hour and a half telling Dylan's life history and cleaning a spot on his head, pasting the electrode, placing it on his head, putting gauze over the top of that, wherein they would superglue (no joke)the gauze into his hair, then dry it in there with oxygen from oxygen tubing. Yeah, we did that 23 times for the 23 electrodes on his head. We then wrapped his whole head in gauze then tape on top of that. We marched to the RTU (Rapid Treatment Unit) Rm # 103 where Dylan spent the next 23 hours confined to the bed (other than quick bathroom breaks) for his long term EEG. Now I would imagine that it would be difficult to keep any energetic 6 year old to stay in a bed, calm and happy for 23 hours. Dylan of course, no exception.

SATURDAY the 25th
He had a headache all of Saturday which did not help the happy part. I think that as a whole, he really did do well. However, he did have his moments of tantrums and impatience. The helicopters were loud and he doesn't care much for Primary Children's in the first place. I remember looking at the clock in the van as we got back onto I-15. It was 3:30PM. We (I) decided to stop in Layton to take a brake, which as a whole was probably not a good idea. Dylan still had a headache and I was trying not to feel to overwhelmed by the enormity of the week I had just gone thru and what I knew was waiting for me at home. I got Dylan a kids meal at Carl's Jr. and I stopped by Cafe Rio to stock up on the pleasure that we do not have here in Idaho. I filled up the van at 2.83/gal. and got back on I-15 for the drive home. My mom had called me and told me to fill up again in Rigby which I gratefully did for 2.68/gal.
We pulled into the driveway just after 9:30PM. We walked in and Dylan began to whine about putting his pajamas on. STILL having his headache and being so tired, that whine was to be expected. Jeff had some snide comment to Dylan and then he was gone to bed. I put Dylan in bed and he was asleep two minutes later. I unpacked the van, cleaned it up the best I could, unpacked the suitcase, did the dishes, did some laundry, burned the garbage, cleaned up the kitchen, (I don't remember hearing about a tornado being here, but I guess I was wrong.)before my nose started bleeding. Just when I started to think about going to the ER for my nose, it FINALLY stopped. Then I went to bed....at 1AM.


SUNDAY the 26
Woke up and guess what !?! Bloody nose, not for nearly as long though. Up and did pancakes and waffles for breakfast. Worked on getting super glue out of Dylan's hair. Combed thru his hair with fingernail polish remover(acetone) for half and hour then washed his hair three times. Kids thru the bathtub. Hurry and print off my primary lesson from the Internet, skimmed thru quickly. Get my self ready, kids ready and out the door. 15 minutes late for church. Primary program for sacrament meeting, left Jared with my mom and sat with the kids in my primary class. They really did do a good job. On to primary, sharing time then my turn to teach the lesson. Home. PB&J and grilled cheese for lunch, then took a quick nap. (Everything is a quick nap!!!) Got up and took the kids to Grandma's house, checked on her chickens and Grandpa took them on a 4-wheeler ride. Home kids in P.J's and rush them off to bed. Great week, huh!?!

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that at some point during the last 10 days, someone (other than me)has been sick. Flu-like sick with it coming from all over the place. In fact while I was doing this post, I had to stop and go clean up after Taylor. She threw-up in her sleep. It was the smell that led me to the discovery.

We will know the result to Dylans EEG within the next week or two. And if its inconclusive we would be invited back to do that again (do I dare say it) for eight days.(I can't type what my response was to that!!!)

I know, I know your jealous. I can imagine now how you all are lining up to walk a day in my shoes. I'm sorry, its only me who gets to do this. I'm sure you all will get your own turn.

And P.S. I do not mean this post as a contest (Amber & Fay) for who has the harder life. If I were to have gone thru a week like this a year ago, I probably wouldn't feel like it was so bad....perhaps I'm just feeling a little worn down. If the truth be told, I need to remember to

BEE HAPPY!!!

I wonder...

I'm just coming home from work. It really was not a bad night. I got a lot accomplished and the night seemed to move along nicely. But I worked with someone for whom I know had good intentions to keep good conversation or to just know how I was doing. But last night was not a good night to pursue that with me. I've heard in staff meetings that we are suppose to check our lives at the door, that life is to be left outside, and that work is work. Ya' know, sometimes, I'm just not very good at that, and I bring life to work. I know she meant well, but I could not ignore her enough.
I wonder...
I wonder how to disclose some without disclosing all...
I wonder how to tactfully say, I'm not willing to tell you anything...
I wonder how to engage in pleasant conversation when you really really don't want to...
I wonder how many times I've intruded upon others tough nights...
I wonder why people tell me what they do...
I wonder why my Associates Degree is in communication...
I wonder if there is any way to measure exhaustion...

Policies....

Taylor this morning...

Taylor:Mom, what are policies?

Mom:(Having answered a lot of these "What are" questions lately, trying to do my best...) Policies are like rules. (Now feeling good, hoping I've come close.)

Taylor:Mom, you have A LOT of policies!!!!!

Mom:(Not feeling THAT good now...) I guess I do...(What else do I say?)


Sunday Morning:

Taylor:Is dad still feeling lousy?...Is it lousy or lazy?

Mom:I don't know, Sometimes its both.....

Tagged...

I've been tagged by Stacey, and because I've never made good on any previous tag, here it goes....
8 TV shows I like to watch
CSI New York
CSI Miami
Law and Order
Pushing Daisies
Cold Case
Without a Trace
Americas Funniest Home Videos

8 Restaurants I like to eat at
Applebees
Olive Garden
Gringos
Cafe Rio (in Utah of course)
(Sorry can't think of any more)

8 Things that happened today
Woke up at 5 AM for no reason
Made breakfast
Did Taylor's hair
Saw the kids off to the bus (Today is the first day back from spud harvest)
Got Jared changed and dressed
Called my mom
Got a call from Jeff
Checked e-mail

8 Things I'm looking forward to
Jeff finding a new job
Being done with our next trip to Primary Children's
Having my house ALL put together
Catching up on the laundry
Reading my new book
Getting Jared potty-trained
Being out of debt (Someday)
Going on vacation (Someday)

8 Things on my wish list
That Jeff would take Dylan to Primary Children's (Right!?!)
To never HAVE to go back to Primary Children's
Visit Washington D.C. in the Fall
To find my missing magic wand
To have a newer (and paid for) vehicle
Happy healthy kiddos
Happy healthy husband
Have peace and sanity

8 People I tag...
Melody
Amber
Stephanie
Amanda
Fay
Tiffany
Emily
Pokeyann

As today wraps up...

Today really got rolling at 9AM. Trying to get everyone dressed, hair done, cleaned up and shoes found in time to get in the van and roll out for some shopping. We went to Lowe's to get a heater for the living room. There was a HUGE Lowe's associate there and Dylan could not quit talking to him. He kept laughing uncomfortably and looking at me, as I tried to drag Dylan away to pay for the heater. Next we went to the mall, in hopes of finding a good affordable coat for Dylan. No luck. Then to Target. No luck there either. But I did find a couple of long sleeve t-shirts to go with the wardrobe and under my scrubs. So on to never-failing Wal-Mart. Success!!! We found a great coat for him, and it was red (one of the current favorite colors.) He has had his previous one for a couple of the years, and last winter, chewed holes thru it. Taylor's still fits and Jared's still fits.

While in Walmart, the overhead intercom would come on and Jared would instantly and very loudly say "WHAT?" Of course I had to look around to see who was looking at us. As soon as the overhead announcement was done he'd shout "THANK YOU." What a pill!!!

I think we all did alright and had a good time. I learned a lot about Taylor teaching me about the finer points of traffic and trying to keep Jared awake as he (and Dylan and Taylor) ate then hurried off to Toddler Lab. We made it just in time and rolled back in the drive way about 2:30PM, being gone since 10AM.

I'd like to think we accomplished something today, plus 2 loads of dishes, being able to see all the counter top space in the kitchen, and making Lasagna for dinner. Oh did I mention that I've worked the last 2 nights and have gotten 2 hours of sleep in the last 36 hours !?!

AAUUUUUGGGHHH.......

I'm about to pull my hair out. Jared has smeared glue all over Dylan's folder, Dylan's tablet, and his own pants. He still has dried up glue peeling from his hands. He has written on my hard wood floor in blue, black, and red PERMANENT marker. He has taken pencil to most walls in the living room and kitchen. He has taken off his diaper (very dirty, dirty diaper) to smear it across the house and I would document it in pictures other than the fact that he also ruined my memory card.(AUUUUGH!!!) I would go to recover one part of the house, just for him to destroy another part at the same time. Its only noon!!! I think I'm looking forward to going to work tonight.

Fall....

Its fall....October conference has come and gone, the weather is much cooler, spud harvest is on the downward end, and I still haven't washed my windows or cut back my trees. Will it really happen? I'm really not sure but I'm not taking any bets. What will happen if I don't? My windows will look the same as they do now, (you can still see out of them) and cutting back my trees, They will continue to be overgrown into next year.


On Friday, we (Dylan, Taylor, and myself) were on our way to pick up Jared from Toddler Lab. In the middle of Dylan and Taylor's Uh-ha, Na-uh, Uh-ha, Na-uh, Uh-ha, Na-uh, I finally fairly loudly and firmly said "STOP IT"!!! Taylor in her mature manner, said "Mom, are you listening to me...? That was NOT very appropriate!" My 5 yr old teaching me about appropriate. At least I know now that she hears me.....

I'm feeling really 'bummed out' tonight. Is it because fall is here and I can't catch up with all there is to do? Dylan & Taylor already have a list for Santa Claus... Is it because I'm sleep deprived and am so tired!?! Is it because I have another headache? (I have them more than I don't) I think, mostly it is because something in life that has been going so well for a month, (so well, it was almost scary) has now crumbled in my lap over the weekend. I am upset and frustrated, hurt and angry.... How could I let myself get my hopes up, knowing better. What was I thinking!?! I had just started to let myself believe, only to be now so mad at myself. Oh well....This too shall pass....right? I guess you are supposed to get up after a fall....

Occupational Hazards of being a Domestic Engineer

I just thought you'd like a fall picture....

Monday night, I was trying to get Jared ready for bed. I sat down on the floor ready to put his pajamas on him...and just as I was turning my head he threw his head into my face. I instantly started to cry because my nose hurt so bad!!! Jared, not knowing what he had done wrong, tried to hug and console me. It really was so nice of him but my face hurt so bad, and continued hurting through out the next day. I decided to get a facial CT, and it turns out that my nose is not broken. It was swollen for a few days and the impact broke a lot of blood vessels in my eyes (very red blood shot eyes). Sneezing and blowing my nose has been so painful, I can't even imagine what it would be like if I had broken my nose. Things are getting back to normal now, almost a week later....but now I have a sinus infection..uughh!

Jared's fingers are healing nicely. The pinky finger he had stitches in has a lot of skin pealing off of it, but as a whole looks a lot better then when it did when we first took the stitches out. His pointer finger did loose the nail, but it looks like the nail bed is still alright, so hopefully a new nail will come soon.

We did parent teacher conferences yesterday. Taylor of course is doing well in school, loves music and recess, and wants to do as much homework as she can. So mom, ends up making homework for her to do to keep her happy. (I don't think that will last too much longer!)

Dylan....struggles struggles and struggles some more. As a whole, he really is doing very well. I get comments all the time on how good his speech has become. Which is true, he can talk. His sentence structure still leaves a lot to be desired, but most of the time, we can understand what he is trying to say. He is doing very well with reading and are surprised sometimes how well he does. Comprehension of what he reads has a very long way to go. Math is good also. He is getting the concept of addition and is trying really hard with the subtraction. Placement words like first, second, third or last, we still have some work to do there as well as descriptive words like most or fewest. Of course, behavior is our constant battle. His teacher said that they are trying the positive approach. They are getting away from phrases like "Don't throw rocks" for fear that all he'll hear is "throw rocks". So they now say, "Rocks stay on the ground." (Oh Dylan!!!)

He also has some 'quarky' things going on still, so we are trying to arrange for a 24 hour EEG down at Primary Children's in SLC, just to cover all of our bases in ruling out seizure activity. (You know in our spare time with our spare money, LOL!!!)

There is a definite brisk feeling in the air...Fall is pretty much here. Time to wash the windows and cut back some trees. The case lot sales are here and we need to put some bikes away. We never got to the garden this year, but we should still do something with it to get it ready for activity in the spring. I can never keep up with how fast the days pass away. When someone walks into work in labor and is due in October, I think "Wow, they are really early" when in reality, they really are term. So goes the story of my life. I don't think I ever keep up very well. I live by the "Fake it till you make it" philosophy and I hope that some day.....there will be more of the 'make it' part and less of the 'fake it' part.

Dream Big

Friday night, Jeff and I went out on a date to see Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband. We had a great time. They were extremely talented, comical and just plain amazing. We really hope to catch one of their shows again. Jeff's favorite song was "Dream Big." They also played some of their new stuff and a silly sing-a-long called "Corndog." (Also a big hit with Jeff!!!) They played Dylan's favorite, which is "Banjo Boy" and for their encore they played a 15 minute incredible show of talent of "The devil went down to Georgia." It was just really fantastic.

Taylor came up with a conjunction a couple of weeks ago that I just cannot get over. We will be talking as we are in a disagreement, and she will stop and say, "No I amn't" which granted can sound really bad but it is just so funny!! Her mouth just gets going so fast that it takes A LOT of concerted effort for her to slow down and say "NO....I....am....not...."So instead she just says "No I amn't."

Saturday evening is one of the best evenings we have had as a family for a long time. We didn't go do anything special, we didn't spend any money, there were no fights, no yelling, nothing significant other than it was a very nice evening. I was out in the yard picking up things, like hoses, sprinklers, putting away bikes not usually used, and other misc. things. Jeff came and helped me and we moved the treadmill to where it needed to go. We just started talking and before too long, Jeff had gotten the four wheeler out and had started to give the kids a ride one at a time. Then he gave me a ride. Of course to top it off, he had to pull some wheelie's before he put it away. I'm not sure what made it so great, put it was momentous for us and wanted to journal a good time.

Good times seem hard to come by sometimes. Like before yesterday, I could not tell you the last time Jeff had come to church with me. But yesterday he did, and then he came with me to my parents for Sunday dinner. (Again, no fighting or tension, it was so nice!!!) Not just one miracle, but two. You may think I'm over exaggerating things, but that is truly how I feel. A couple of good days in a row. I hate to say anything for fear of jinxing myself, but I need to journal good things too, to remember that they do happen.

Remembering...

Brady Howell was a rare kid. In high school, he was 'popular' but didn't act it, talented, but didn't flaunt it, and smart, but didn't publish it. He was the student body president. We ran track together. I'll never forget the time, we came back from a track meet to see two wheels of his car leaning up against the school. We laughed so hard at the prank and had a memorable time trying to get it back onto the parking lot. We were in "Our Town". He was the narrator and I had a minor part, but he had a knack for making sure no one felt minor.

I remember when Brady got married, I was working as a DJ at a dance at then Ricks College. He and his new bride, Liz, asked for a special song and the ballroom floor was parted as college kids in jeans and t-shirts made way for him in his tux and her in her gown. I'll never forget that night.

Seven years ago today, Brady wrapped up his mission in life, fulfilling a lifelong dream, serving at the Pentagon. Brady lived a life always to be remembered, a fantastic example of service, the importance of a dream and leaving the lesson of never knowing when your time will come to an end. May all those who mourn today feel peace, comfort, and a happy remembrance of their memories. I miss you Brady.

Just because

Its been awhile since I've been able to vent in my favorite venting method, (involving a drive to IF) and I look at this blog as my number one journaling method. (I'm trying to find a way that perhaps I could have this blog published into a book, and do that every year as my journal.) And so in turn I have not done any other journal for quite some time. I have to work tonight and tomorrow night, then again Tues. Wed. & Thurs. nights so I take this opportunity (while I'm semi-coherent) to blog, catch up and vent as need be.

I love the idea of the blog. You can vent and send out your vibes into cyberspace, hoping that someone will read what you have to say(or not) and there is still a sense of release, yet knowing that you haven't intruded upon anyone else's time or taking away from their life. I can say what I feel like I need to say, to help let go of things and if you read it, great!! Its a really good feeling in knowing that someone cares enough to check in on me. If you don't read it, great!! I feel good in knowing that I haven't wasted your time, or unloaded upon you anything you really didn't want to know in the first place.

Dylan had a rough start to school. He fell asleep in class on the first day, and got into a 'confrontation' in which he got a bloody lip and scratch on the scar above his ear(yes, first day also). He has had homework every day, and we've only had one or two days that he hasn't finished. He is gotten into a better groove with routine. His blood work is back from 4 weeks ago. As a whole everything is good. I won't bore you with the little details, but we are going to try adding a protein that he is deficient in and see if that helps him. No big change with melatonin, maybe we will up it soon.

Taylor has hit school off and running. She seems to like her class and talks of how she plays with cousin Braxton who is not in her class but its good to know that she has someone to play with. She has a really good grasp of the basics and although she says "I can't" she really can. This week she wants to be an astronaut when she grows up and asks Jeff and I what we want to be when we grow up. Taylor, we still don't know.

Jared's fingers are healing nicely. I took him to see the doctor on Wed. because his newly injured finger would not stop bleeding. But of course when we went to see Dr. Prince, it had stopped bleeding. He gave us some vaseline gauze (I love that stuff) so that the bandage would not stick to the wound. Understandably, he doesn't use his left hand so trying to watch him do things with just one hand can be funny. Thank goodness he is right handed, so its not too much of a stretch.

Jeff has seen a bit of increase at work for the last two weeks, thank goodness. He usually has a guys night out with a friend, but they haven't been out for a couple of weeks. I think we are all getting in the routine of new schedules.

I think you are pretty up to date on me. I share a ton of things with you fairly often. I'm still working on my house, the usual chores as well as changing a few things. Paint, window coverings, new things on the wall, that sort of thing. Keeping up with the kids and sensing the need to get some things done as the feeling of fall begins to set in. General Conference will be here within a month (YAHOO!!!) then it really will be fall.