My voice is gone

I woke up yesterday morning and my voice is gone. Well, not completely but to hear my own voice so horse and squeaking is like nails on the chalkboard. Taylor told me that I should just not talk anymore. Jeff started laughing and said that that was the polite way of telling me to shut up. Later I was singing and she told me that that was the worst sound she had ever heard. I worked last night and I'm sure all the patients thought I must have been terrible to show up to work. Answering the phone was also a great time. Way too many people kept saying, "What did you say?" A whisper is just not enough, I guess you just have to squeak.

I worked Friday night, Saturday night, Sunday night, (had Monday night off) Tuesday night and of course I work tonight. The strangest thing happens when I work. Even though I'm gone for just a few short 'awake' hours, I come home to it looking like a tornado leveled any of the work I had done in the previous 3 days. Dishes, laundry, cooking on the stove, the microwave looks like something blew up in there, the bathroom is turned upside down, and the kids' bedrooms -- I wonder why we even try there, it never lasts very long.

I think I might so on a simple laundry strike. I am so tired of Jeff leaving his socks on the floor RIGHT NEXT TO THE HAMPER!!! I think my new rule might be that if its not in the hamper it doesn't get washed. I'm not sure how long that will last. Then what would happen. Would they get washed by someone else or would they magically appear in the hamper!?! If I find out, I will let you know. Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Summer Classes for Men at

THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, July 4th 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF

THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8

PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?Round Table Discussion.Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 3 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 4 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginningat 7:00 PM



Class 5 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups.Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM


Class 6 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.Open ForumMonday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 7 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.Graphics and Audio Tapes.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 8 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined



Class 9 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?Driving Simulations.4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.


Class 10 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playingTuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined



Class 11 How to be the Ideal Shopping CompanionRelaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 12 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 13 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.Live Demonstration.Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses,diplomas will be issued to the survivors.



If only.....

Sorry it's been so long.....

I'm not quite sure if anyone even reads this page, but I like to try to keep up with it. If for no other reason, than keeping track of events-journaling.

Wednesday:June 18th My co-workers have a play group in the summer. This was the day that we went swimming. Beth from the NICU has a clubhouse with an indoor pool. The kids had so much fun. They haven't had swimming lessons but had a great time anyway.

Saturday:June 21st Thank goodnees it was the longest day of the year, we needed it. We put together our swingset/play gym thing-im-bobber. I called in the recruits to help us get it done. Its a little bit more of a motivating factor if you have other people there working hard-good incentive for us to work hard. Trent Gailbraith and Alan Beagley (previous home teachers) and their families came and pulled us thru. Also Jason Sorensen from across the street came to help. (MANY THNX TO THEM FOR ALL THE HELP!!!!) We got it done in decent time for a project like that and I think the whole neighborhood will be the recipients of this. The kids really love it though. It is a great focus for them while being outside instead of wanderin on the road or throwing rocks in the ditch.

Monday:June 23rd Dylan had a round of sedation dentistry done. There is finally a pediatric dentist in Rexburg and I'm thinking very highly of him. He has been so good with Dylan. We had to go up to the hospital and we masked him before the IV. It was general anethesia and I'm so glad we did it that way. He ended up having to have a baby root canal, sealants, fillings and caps. All done in one trip. YAHOO!!! That day was tough because he never could keep anything down. But the next morning, he woke up like his normal Dylan self and we never heard a word about his mouth hurting.

Dylan-Waiting for a better day....

Tuesday:June 24th Jareds trip to the audiologist went off like a hit. He was very co-operative and his hearing is within the normal range. The tubes we had put in-in February are working, doing what they are supposed to. He continues speech therapy and is really doing a great job immitating what he hears.

Jared:Just call me "he-man-baby...."

Monday:June 30th I finally got the lawn mowed. It's only taken all summer because the lawnmower we had just bought, broke 3 times. So I took it back and it took another week to get another one in. What a headache...which is what I had when I was done in addition to being burned on my arms and half of my face. LOL!!!

Jeff also got a 'toy'. I think he's been wanting something to play with for longer than what I can remember. Hopefully it satisfies his inner child..

Today is of course the first day of July. I cannot belive how fast summer is flying by and I truly am trying to schedule all that I want to do. I know that if I don't, it will not happen. Of course in July is this holiday weekend full of fireworks, a flag rasing ceremony with breakfast, the parade, perhaps the rodeo, more fireworks, camping and who knows what else. I really will try to keep up better. If you read my page, PLEASE let me know that you're out there. Many Thnx!!!!

Our crazy week.....

This was Jared this week:

And all of us for that matter...

This week seems to be one of those crazy weeks that you hope will not overflow to the next week. I don't think I"ve slept more than 3 consecutive hours since Sunday. Monday was full of stress because Taylor would not quit throwing fits and tantrums, which included locking herself in the van with this keys still in the ignition. After some time, I coaxed her into rolling down the driver-side window for which I quickly unlocked it and grabbed her out. In an effort to keep her from getting back in and doing it again, Dylan quickly jumped in, rolled up the window and locked it, quickly jumping out locking the keys still in the ignition. Jeff came to unlock it because the hidden key was not to be found. I of course was late for my 11AM appointment in I.F. which of course made me late for the 1PM with Dylans aide. Tuesday was full of stress because we recieved word that a little girl in our ward (8yrs. old)who has been fighting lukemia for the last 7 months (at Primary Childrens in SLC)had taken a turn for the worse. We awoke in the morning to find that she had passed away. So on top of Dylan having a very trying day, I was trying to figure out how to tell the kids. I told them that night, before bed. There were many tears and tissues involved, but they grasped it alright. Wednesday also included one of the worst days I've ever seen Dylan have. He lashed out at me, hitting me in the face, biting my finger(which throbbed for hours)Thursday, both of the boys had speech therapy at 11AM and thankfully my mom took one while I took the other. Today, I took Dylan to a chiropractor in hopes of getting him help some how. All of this does not include the rants of the kids while they fight, meltdowns, errands ran, helping my mom with the new computer, scanning hundreds of pictures for histories sake, dishes, laundry, trying to establish a garden, keeping in touch with therapists and case workers, scheduling future appointments, working tonight and tomorrow night,etc...etc...etc... While wondering what the term "Summer Vacation" means.

The upcoming week does not look much better. It includes Fathers Day, my sister-in-laws birthday, a funeral, Dylans first trip to the dentist, meeting a new nurologist for Dylan, therapies for Dylan and for Jared, the van needs an oil change and a new windshield(in a terrible way), the clothes dryer sounds like its almost done, two nights of work, the lawn needs mowed, got to plant the garden,etc...etc...etc... With Jeffs two sisters birthdays just after that. LOL!!!!! (I'm sure you all can relate, but I appreciate the chance to vent and release = )

Am I silk?

I have to share an experience that I had yesterday that was one of those 'AWHA' moments, but I have to back up just a little bit.

I have had a hard time as of late meshing and conversing with some of the other mothers of the same age of kids in the ward, neighborhood, community etc. because I feel so different from them. I work, I have kids that are classic kids and I'm not like everyone else. Upon appearance and looking at them, watching them, and listening to them, they make it sound like they have it all together. "This kid is doing so and so and is great, and this kid is doing so and so and is great." Now don't get me wrong, I too am a believer that everyone needs optimism in life but doesn't reality ever bite these people too? They just seem too perfect. My kids are not perfect, I think everyone knows that. Dylan and his physical hangups and issues that he still deals with today leaves me feeling so different than the other moms I see. Taylor also suffers consequences of Dylan's behavior and so many times my heart goes out to her. (I hope she is never too scarred by our family.) Jared's personality is still developing, but he absolutely loves to run up onto the stand at church in the middle of sacrament meeting, or a whole host of other things that I know others look at us and go, "Ugh, why can't you people get it together!?!" In summary: I am flawed and different. So many others around me are great moms and have perfect standing in the community. Not me.

Anyway....So I was sitting in one of the most beautiful rooms on this earth, the Celestial Room at the nearby Rexburg Temple. I had been taught and was pondering upon many things, looking at the chandeliers, reading the scriptures when my eyes were caught upon the flowers in the room. They of course were so beautiful. The flowers, the tall ferns the garland of ivy leaves. They were 'perfect'. (Then the AWHA moment.) Then the impression came to me that they were fake. Of course they were perfect, because they weren't real. I remember a fireside done by artist Leon Parson, who talked about how in nature, real things are flawed. Leaves or petals are not symmetrical. Apples and tomato's are not truly circular. You only see the truly perfect in silk, in something being fake.

Well ladies and gentlemen. There is my epiphany. I am very real. I am not silk, I am not fake. I am very flawed and with that Heavenly Father can work with me. And in that I can know him. If I were to be silk there would be no need for him to make me better and in turn, no opportunity to know him. Thank heavens for flaws.

Lyrics to 'What I've Done'

"What I've Done"

In this farewell

There’s no blood

There’s no alibi

‘Cause I’ve drawn regret

From the truth

Of a thousand lies

[Pre-Chorus:]

So let mercy come

And wash away

What I’ve done

[Chorus:]

I'll face myself

To cross out what i’ve become

Erase myself

And let go of what i’ve done

Put to rest

What you thought of me

While I clean this slate

With the hands of uncertainty

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

For what I’ve done

I start again

And whatever pain may come

Today this ends

I’m forgiving what

I’ve done!!!

[Chorus]

What I’ve done

Forgiving what I’ve done

Now I want you to know that I don't usually listen to such hard music, but the lyrics of this one are really poignant to me right now. So here are the lyrics to go with the head banging.